I am going to be in "Vampe". My part is interesting but pretty small -- I seem to be sticking with my "I get about 10 minutes on the stage" habit. The key is that I wrote this part. I am the co-author of this play, and the only reason I'm acting in it is because we are pushing through and performing the thing at the end of February, and we needed to fill all the parts! Make no mistake: just like with "42nd Street", while my part isn't unimportant, no one will remember my part by the end! But, I'm doing this so that a play I wrote gets performed. If I want to get petty, I think that means I get a share of every "good job" said to anyone in the cast! If I want to get petty, that is.
And that is very exciting!
I read two interesting articles lately, both of which have to do with film.
Film is a different world than stage in many ways. In the world of stage I find the door slammed in my face repeatedly -- stage is very much a white man's world -- but I understand that there are far more options for people with "ethnic looks" in film. That's great, but these aren't major roles: lead roles in film tend to still be young white men. I'm a middle aged Indian man, short with a pot-belly. If anyone wants to finance a summer action blockbuster with that sort of character as the star, just let me know!
One thing I read recently was by George Lucas. He has just made a big-budget action movie with an almost all-black cast. He felt that Hollywood didn't give the script a chance because of the almost all-black cast. Say what you want about George Lucas' "Star Wars" prequels, but I think he knows what he's talking about. This is the freaking 21st century, folks, and yet this attitudes still remain! Remember that this isn't a case of black actors not getting a chance because all the major roles are written for white actors. The film was written for an almost all-black cast. If George Lucas is correct, this script was not given a chance because all the major roles weren't written for white actors!
A common "it isn't racism" denial is that "it isn't racism" because the roles are written for white actors. "What are we to do? The starring roles for black actors are just not there." If George Lucas is right, that excuse is bullshit.
Oh, and by the way, don't mention Denzel Washington as though that makes up for it. Denzel has it all: he's talented, handsome, and has one hell of a presence. And he had to work his way up to being taken seriously as a leading man. To counter that . . . Sam Worthington. I watch him perform and I hope that some day he will find something he might be good at. It clearly isn't acting. Maybe he'll discover he's a talented painter.
Another article had to do with Heather Donahue, from Blair Witch Project. I thought she was very good in that movie, but she simply did not have "leading lady looks". She found herself typecast as the "best friend". She found herself playing increasingly crappy roles until one night, laying there during the filming of a bad horror movie, she asked "is this what I really want to do with my life?" Apparently, she took everything in her life from acting, went out into the desert, and destroyed it all, to start clean.
She went through some difficult times, apparently, trying to find herself, but appears to be happier with herself now.
I remind myself that these are about professional film. Professional entertainment is a different world, and the visual element is front and center. For every Meatloaf -- someone not particularly good looking but who made his name by being a great performer -- there are a dozen Britney Spears. It's just the way things are. My love of theatre was never built on dreams of being a professional actor. I'm strictly an amateur. My love of theatre suddenly plunged me into a world where I saw that no matter how good I am, no matter how much I build my skills, no matter how hard I work, I will never get a chance because I just don't look the part. I had to ask: did I really want to chase something that repeatedly told me "you just aren't good enough"?
"Vampe" is a good play. I'm very proud of my work. At readings and at our first rehearsal, I saw people thrilled with things I had written. This reminded me that I am more than "good enough". Maybe I should be spending less time trying to prove myself to something that is clearly not interested.
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