More Whining

With my focus on "Vampe", I really haven't been thinking much about auditioning anywhere.  Normally, at the beginning of the month, I would scour the web sites and get a list of auditions, and fill up my Google calendar with auditions.  Well, I haven't done that since the new year. 

My last three auditions . . . well, let's talk about that. 

I drove out to TriPac in Pottsdown.  I was auditioning for two plays.  My sides were from the play "Farragut North".  They told me several times that I was not suitable for "character 1", so they wanted me to read for "character 2".  I prepared for "character 2".  I went in to the audition and . . . they had me read for "character 1", the part they emphasized I was not right for.  In other words, they screwed me over.  After this, I received an e-mail asking if I would be willing to take a small non-speaking part in their other play.  I politely said "no thank you".  I never heard anything from them about "Farragut North".  By the way, pet peeve: it takes 30 seconds to write a "sorry" e-mail . . . the actor took the time to audition, and deserves to get some word one way or the other! 

I went to an audition at Barnstormers for a Christmas play.  I was offered a small part and I took it.  I put in my usual 110%, and I heard a number of very positive remarks.  The assistant director admitted to me that they gave me that specific part because they wanted me in the play (they didn't have enough people at the audition), but that was the only part they could think of where they could fit someone with my ethnic looks.  The leads in the play were both white, but were by far the worst actor and actress I have ever worked with.  But even though they were terrible and brought down the quality of the play, the important thing was that they cast white people in those roles, right?

Again, at Barnstormers, I auditioned for "Macbeth".  I was offered two small parts.  I had no desire to take yet another part that required sitting for 1 1/2 hours in the green room.  Hey, why should I expect more than a bit part, whereever they could fit the brown guy? 

But, I had "Vampe".  And I still have "Vampe".  It is still going on.  Sebastian was a challenging role and an interesting role . . . hey, I wrote him, so I made him that way!

Last night, I saw an audition announcement for "A Streetcar Named Desire", one of my favorite plays.  I realized how "down" I felt about acting: I should have been bouncing up and down, thinking "I MUST AUDITION!  I MUST AUDITION!"  Instead, I knew that if I auditioned, the best I could hope for would be "one of the card players".  This isn't Broadway, this is a wannabe-Broadway, so I didn't expect them to even try.  Why bother?  It just wasn't worth it. 

I whined about this on Facebook.  One of my Facebook friends said I should go to Colonial Playhouse and audition for their one-act festival.  I had no intention on going there, as the Colonial Playhouse was on my "why bother?" list (I had auditioned there three times, and for at least two of those auditions I can honestly say I didn't get a part because of my skin color).  But, hey, I was invited, so I went. 

The audition was like a little show.  Instead of sitting us in another room, we all sat in the audience as people were called up to do a short monologue.  It was actually fun!  I went back and forth as to what I would do.  I decided I would do a poem and then I would do the closing monologue from "Angels in America", and I would have one of those oh-so-cool sharp transitions between them.  I did it, and then I had to leave.  As I was walking out, people were telling me I did really well.  One guy reached out and shook my hand.  People really liked what I did. 

Yes, maybe I actually am good at this. 

As I drove away, this really hit me, and hit me hard.  I found myself in tears, and these weren't happy tears.  If I was that good, why can I never get a challenging part?  If I wasn't any good, then maybe I could work on it and improve.  If I am good enough, what can I do?  I can keep on improving, but no one will ever give me a chance, and it's not because I lack the talent.  Besides, how much improvement can I do when no one will give me a chance?

The theatre world -- the acting world -- just doesn't want me.  That's reality.  And it's not because I'm not good enough. 

I am surprised at how that hit me.  I couldn't even feel good about a job-well-done, because in my heart I knew nothing would come of it.  I've done job-well-done auditions before.  If I do get a part, I'm sure I'll be "that guy standing against the wall for 3 minutes".  I'll be phoning in my performance again. 

And there is nothing I could do about it. 

Punchline: I had mentioned, in an unrelated conversation, my crazy idea of starting a theatre group that would emphasize minorities.  A friend remarked that she didn't feel there should be preference to minorities, so she disagreed with the entire idea of the theatre group.  Casting should be based on talent.  As I've seen so many times, it often is not based on talent.  Taking the time to find minorities, people I have found a far too often excluded from community theatre (at least, around here), doesn't mean we are ignoring talent.  If this theatre group ever comes into existence, we will be looking more at talent than most of the theatre-is-a-white-man's-club community theatre groups! 

Broadway and Wannabe-Broadway

Today, I was looking at an ad for "A Streetcar Named Desire" on Broadway.  What did I notice?  Two African-American men.  Are Stan and Mitch being played by men-of-color? 

It's important to remember: I did audition for a local community theatre version of "Streetcar" last year and I didn't get a part.  I don't believe this was because of my skin color, however.  The director had already cast Stan and had a great actor in mind for Mitch (that actor is a friend of mine, and I would have questioned the sanity of casting me over him).  He had me read for one other part, but my heart really wasn't into it (my feeling was that if I was going to play a bit part, I might as well play a bit part in "42nd Street", where I would be performing with my kids). 

But, Stan and Mitch were both white.  There are several times when Blanche refers to Stan as being a "Pollack".  With few exceptions, every community theatre I know would insist that it MUST be done that way.  They would insist on that because they aren't just doing a hodge-podge, they are striving for a professional quality show!  They would insist on this even if they, for example, throw a sheet over two boxes and call it a sofa. 

And yet Broadway doesn't seem to do that. 

"Chicago", on Broadway, was set in the 1920's and had whites and blacks intermingling without a fuss or even a mentioning. 

"How to Succeed in Business Without Even Trying": set in the corporate world of the 1950's.  And on Broadway, we had black executives in the corporate boardroom. 

There was a bunch of hub-bub about casting non-hispanics for the clearly hispanic leads in "Motherf*cker with a Hat" . . . but that hub-bub occurred when the show went on tour.  On Broadway, this wasn't a problem! 

And now, "A Streetcar Named Desire" . . . black men, apparently, playing Stan and Mitch.

Now, these are only a few cases.  I don't recall seeing any minorities in "Phantom of the Opera".  But these four instances are enough, in my opinion, to shoot down these community theatre companies that try to mask racial bias with a "professional quality production".