Theatre Company H

Theatre Company H is one of the companies where I feel I have a good relationship.  If I ever become big as a writer, my plan is that Theatre Company B, E, and H will get "dibs" on my work, as an appreciation of the opportunities they have given me.

I've known about Theatre Company H for years.  My kids were involved in their summer acting programs years ago.  I auditioned for them as a lark.  They were having two auditions that night.  One was for a play called "Shakespeare in the Trailer Park" and the other was for a play called "Dinner Habits".

Because they aren't exactly swimming in cash (as opposed to drowning in expenses), they tend to perform original works.  Performing an original work means not paying royalties!

"Shakespeare in the Trailer Park" was a low-brow farce on Shakespeare.  I was offered a part in the play: I would be playing Shlomo Slycock.  "Dinner Habits" was set in an Irish family: I felt as though the director was trying hard to find a place for me in the play (he seemed impressed with my acting), but there was just no way I could pull off being Irish.  As it turned out, the performance of "Dinner Habits" was canceled.

"Shakespeare in the Trailer Park" was not a very good play.  I felt as though the author really didn't "get" Shakespeare.  Shakespeare is already filled with lowbrow humor, yet none of that made an appearance in this play.  The big center point of the play, in my opinion, was when I recited a list of pornographic titles based on Shakespeare plays ("Tight Ass Andronicus").  One of the things I just didn't understand was . . . why were people laughing through the rehearsals?  Rehearsals were filled with loud laughter . . . I stopped finding the play funny by the second rehearsal!

I didn't have a big part in this play, not as big as one would have expected given that I was supposed to be the big villain (I really wasn't).  The problem was that my appearances on stage were spread out, so this meant I was needed at almost every rehearsal.  This was pretty exhausting, especially considering I was getting increasingly bothered by the fact that the play wasn't very good.

There were some questions about the casting.  The man that played the villain did not get along with Marsha, the director.  I could see that he needed some serious work creating his character.  The man playing the lead . . . well, he wasn't very good.  This became a problem because the secondary lead in the play was a pure scene stealer, and the lead just couldn't hold his own against him.  Many in the cast had problems with the secondary lead.  He was improv'ing like crazy during the show, to the point where he was disrupting the other performers.  When a show has to pause because members of the cast can't hold in their laughter, he needs to cool it!

When we had the preview performance, the audience was largely unresponsive.  We were in the dressing room thinking "what have we gotten ourselves into?"  Then came opening night.  The show wound up being a hit!  It even had three positive reviews!  Go figure.

By the way, I sent Marsha some of my scripts, and she liked them.  She will be putting on at least one of my plays in February, and another of my plays perhaps in 2013!

Somewhere during the rehearsal times for "Trailer Park", I went to another theatre to audition for "Angels in America", which was to be performed in the summer.  I quickly received my rejection e-mail.  At this point, I was VERY upset, as I love that play.  I decided that, for my own sanity, I needed to take a break from acting.  I was already committed to a performance at a medieval fair August, but I decided to stop any further auditioning.  Theatre Company B rented the theatre during part of the summer, to put on "Rent", but I wasn't interested.  Theatre Company H's "big show" was "Rocky Horror" in October, also directed by Marsha, but I decided to not audition for it.  A friend of mine wanted to put on "Pirates of Penzance", but I didn't audition for it.  As it turns out, he didn't have enough men, so he canceled that show.

I finally auditioned for their Christmas show, which was two one acts.  One of the one acts was based on "Gifts of the Magi", and I was one of the towns-people.  I played the Italian soda vendor, and the author of the play (and assistant director) revealed that they chose that part for me because of my dark skin.  Okay.

My problem with the play (aside from the fact that I don't think "Gift of the Magi" works as a heartwarming holiday story) was the leads.  I get the impression that everyone that auditioned was offered a part.  It then became a game of figuring out who fit where.  That was when they decided to place me as the Italian soda vendor.  The man that got the part of the narrator, essentially, looked the part of a narrator, an old man sitting on a nice chair and telling the story for the audience.  The problem is . . . he wasn't very good.  He started getting better and more expressive during the second week of the run, but he still was tripping over his lines.

The wife . . . oh my goodness!  The positive side: she's pretty.  It turns out that she's a part-time model.  That's all great.  The problem is that she was easily the worst actress I have ever worked with.  If I could give her some advice, it would be to speak, on stage, the way you speak off-stage!  It's "beautiful", not "bee you tee full"!

The husband had a pleasant sounding voice, but the relaxed conversational tone of his voice often resulted in slurring.  The real problem was that he wasn't acting.  I wanted to shake him at one point, telling him "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SAD NOW!"

These three, chosen in no small part because of how they look, were the center points of this play, and that brought down the whole productions.  Several people told me what a fine job I did in my part, but what is the point when the leads were so terrible?

For me, this brought some things into focus.  They only had a few people to work with, as not very many people came out for the audition.  In the process of fitting people into parts, they looked more at who "looked the part", instead of acting ability.  I can forgive that for a silly little production, but I realized that this happens often.  When whole ethnic groups are shut out from consideration, when I can really impress the audition committee but not even get a call-back, the quality of the show suffers.  If, in this silly little Christmas play, they had cast, say, an african american woman as the wife, the audience would have had to deal with that . . . which would have taken maybe 30 seconds early on.  Instead, they put a white woman in the role, thus saving the audience those 30 seconds . . . but instead the audience must spend the entire show dealing with her dreadful acting!

After this show, I auditioned for "Macbeth" also at this theatre company.  Again, I don't think enough people auditioned, so the director is spending time combining parts and cutting out parts.  I think I did well in the audition, but in the end I was offered the part of the "old man", who appears briefly an hour into the show, and another character that appears maybe two hours into the show.  That's a LOT of time sitting in the green room!  I took a look at the parts and found them uninteresting and not challenging at all, so I declined his offer.  That is only the second time I have declined an offer!

I will, however, be continuing my relationship with this company.  One of my plays will be performed here as part of their "one acts" night.  Theatre Company B wants to rent this theatre in February to put on "Vampe", another of my plays.  And there are plenty more auditions coming up!