My last few auditions?
I got an interesting part in a short play festival, but everyone that auditions for that, pretty much, gets a part.
I was offered a small non-speaking part for "Pink Panther Strikes Again". The part I was offered was a character named "Hindu Harry". Um . . . no. My strongest asset, I have been told repeatedly, is my voice, so a non-speaking part would be a waste of my time.
"Arms and the Man"? Nope.
"Our Lady of 121st Street"? Callback, but no.
So, was my experience with "The Last Days of Judas Iscariot" a triumph? Was I that awesome? I thought I did pretty well, and people told me I did pretty well, but since then absolutely nothing has changed. I can't even get the door to hit me on my way out.
I HAVE experienced racism in casting. More than racism, I have experienced casting directors that just couldn't look past the brown skin. This is all true, and I have had to deal with it. But, does that explain everything? No. We also have times when my audition just wasn't at its best, and I really deserved to not get the part. But does that explain everything? No. In the end, there is one explanation I need to face: maybe I'm just not that good.
Maybe I am destined, in theatre, to be "that guy that stands by the door" for play after play after play, just happy and thrilled to be on the stage even if I never ever get something that will stretch my acting muscles. And, at cast parties, I will be there talking about my glory days with "Judas Iscariot". But I don't want to be that guy. I don't want to be part of something that has made it SO clear that just doesn't want me.
So, I decided: in 2014, I will not act or audition for anything in the Philadelphia area theatre world. And that includes classes and short play festivals: things like that just give me an illusion that just gets shattered later. I will keep an open mind about theatre in other areas -- maybe New York City might be better for me, although I can't imagine driving 2 1/2 hours to get to a rehearsal. I'll also keep an open mind about film. But I doubt anything will happen in either case. I think it's time to just walk away.
